i give you all... the fastest growing grass.
yes. i have harnessed the magic(k)al technologies of grass-growology... uhm. and.. uhhh... stuff.
Figure1: saturday morning. seeds planted on tuesday.

Figure2: saturday evening. wine was not used as fertilizer.

Figure3: sunday morning.

Figure4: sunday evening.

Figure5: monday evening. the grass seems to enjoy traveling around the house.

so there! phblt!
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