Saturday, March 12, 2011

sharing the sunshine

normally when you think of scotland, an image of grey bogs and misty moors comes to mind... that and men in skirts with giant hairy legs. *shudder* blech.

anyway. scotland isn't the first place you would think of if you were asked to name a happy shiny locale. and yet. if you go look at the pictures. you'll think differently.

check them out. oh and you can see me in a floofy white dress.

so long...

farewell. auf wiedersehen. goodbye.

i feel like i've said this before. oh wait. i probably have.

it's odd to be saying goodbye to this place i love so much... again.

when i left the first time i never thought i'd be here on my own again. i always figured when i came back it'd be for good. i also thought i'd have my hunny with me. but i guess i should know better than to expect life to turn out how i want it.

so i'm getting myself ready to go. i have a last hurrah today. brunch with the girls. it's finally setting in. that i fly today. that i'll be home. that i'll have to get a job again. i'll have to remember what it's like to be married. i'll have to remember how to live with someone. share the same room. the same space.

i'm only now feeling nervous. but bless him, he's been feeling nervous for a couple of weeks. to be fair though. my nervous is more of an excited and happy nervous. where as i think his has been more of a proper omg nervous.

wow. i'm going home.

how strange.

goodbye boston. goodbye brighton. goodbye cambridge.

hello sleepy town in england.

dont say...

please don't say it's over.

but it is... isn't it?

Friday, March 11, 2011

stresses and dresses

i suppose i can't hide from it any longer. not that i was hiding per say. it was more of an ignoring it so i wouldn't stress out. plus i didn't want to jinx anything or cause any hassle.

but it was building up. getting bigger. soon it would explode in a tangle of ribbon and taffeta. of silk covered buttons and lacy veils.

i couldn't hide it anymore. and now it's only a sickeningly short bit away. before it was... "oh, next year..." now it's... "oh. oh god. this year. *gasp* in three months..." followed of course by the thud of my passing out onto the hard laminate flooring of the apartment i now share with English and the pod-cat.

i guess some of you out there are scratching your heads saying "the hell?" or you're scratching your butts saying "gee, i sure dew lahk dem racooon fritters ma used to make..." but that's neither here nor there.

i suppose i should explain.

but explaining isn't nearly as much fun as rambling on and on. plus, if i explain i have to come full face to what's going on.







seating arrangements.

menus and decorations.


oh for the love of god...
i'm getting married?!!


price gouging

so i just finished filling in my application to go home. which is such a happy sentence. but of course now we come to the joy of payment.

you may want to sit down.

the price that i have the pleasure to pay?

one thousand seven dollars.


this is only for the application. i'll still have to purchase tickets.


that was the sound of my heart dropping at so much money.

but it's worth it right? it's worth it to be able to wake up next to my husband. to be able to cuddle my kitten. to be able to say, i'm home.


Thursday, March 10, 2011

autumnal wandering...

my shoes are greeted by the raspy whispers of wind and fallen leaves. speaking quietly to each other. from the grey and cold. from the pavement. from the tarmac. from the frozen earth which slumbers.

the wake from my stride brings a flurry of conversation. the leaves admonishing my path over and through them. the wind shushing the complaints and soothing the golden blanket back down onto the concrete bed.

i smile as the brisk air caresses my cheeks as my mother used to. brushing my hair gently out of my face. rubbing my forehead. and placing a single kiss upon my hairline.

my eyes are heavy with the season. the almond shapes are full of trees turning red. of dark berries hanging pregnantly from barren trees. of crimson and burgundy ornaments dotting the hedgerows. they are bitter and sour parcels awaiting harvest and sugar to unlock their rich flavor. forgotten now by a generation of children fed by industrial meals and conformity.

i do not have enough space in my arms to save all these riches. i am no budha with the universe in my mouth. but i can keep a photo of them. the knowledge of them. their presence fills my soul and brightens my smile.

i let this truth slip into the air. my lungs force it out. urging the world to know. to wonder. to sleep. to wake.

i walk on.

Monday, March 7, 2011

new friends

i'd like to introduce you to my new friends...



and an olive.

stirred. never shaken.



happy birthday to me. happy birthday to me. happy birthday dear wendykat! happy birthday to me!



Sunday, March 6, 2011


today is our three week anniversary. three weeks of being married. our wedding was held on our two year anniversary. so today is 2 years and 2 weeks of being blissfully happy. i know the math looks off. but take into account any days where we weren't blissfully happy and it all makes sense.

regardless today is a mini anniversary. you could say i'm stretching for any reason to celebrate. marking tiny milestones. making a mountain out of a molehill. and i would say that any reason to make a special dinner for my husband is reason enough.

today is fresh king prawns and squid paella. to be followed by a frozen lemon custard in meringue nests with raspberry coulis.

i love my husband. and i'll love him even if i make him fat.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

painting in the clouds

the sky is a portrait today.
brushstrokes deftly skitter
across the canvas of our horizon.
a watercolor painting.
each hue melding and melting.
clouds heavy with color.
full of rain.
capture the setting sun.
only to let it fall again
in crimson drops upon the quiet city.

things i don't get...

  • hippies. i know technically i am one. but i still don't understand the perpetual look of stonedness, the dreadlocks, the joblessness, the flipflops as an all occasion footwear choice, and the high stench of ideals.
  • why people in the bay area wear flipflops in winter AND bundle up in fleeces and scarves. surely the way to stay warm in this situation is to wear actual shoes! *note: see above
  • babies as fashion accessories. i saw a man wearing his child like it was part of his outfit. his blazer and trouser combo was really set off by the bouncing bundle of poo and germs.
  • big dudes with tiny... dogs.
  • vegans. i just... i just i can't even start talking about this one for fear my head will asplode.
  • three dollar one year warranties.
  • coupons for ten bucks off if you spend over forty.
  • refrigerated bread. it goes stale faster people!
  • how ryan seacrest, rachel ray, emeril lagasse, mario batali, jeremy kyle, and paris hilton haven't all had their faces punched in yet.
  • why i have to be in this country when my husband is in another.