i woke up early. in order to see him as much as possible. to curl up with him on the couch. to feel his heartbeat against my ear. to try and fool myself that i'm not leaving again.
it's been 4 weeks. it feels like 4 hours. it's gone too fast. i should have made it last longer. i should have lingered more. woke up sooner every day to spend the precious few moments together.
i've spend several sleepless nights. just next to him. listening to him breathe. watching him sleep. curled into him before sleep takes me. and i wake alone. i can hear him quietly rustling through the flat. his normal routine. upset now because of my presence.
we're married singles at the moment. we have our own routines. we have our own way of doing things. we have our lives that we live. and in due course we'll have the joy of fitting our lives together again.
but that's to come.
right now. i just want for today to stay.
and for tomorrow to go way.