so i've rejoined the evil site-which-shall-not-be-named. i'm blocking applications and trying to only check it once a day. but then i realize i haven't seen all the photos of what people have been doing so i go back. but then i realize that i don't really care so i leave again.
today i've managed to bathe. make the bed. and give myself a pedicure. it's a grey day. and my head is blue. so much going on inside. i will blame it on jet lag and the residual hormones from last weeks lady time.
i've been going over a lot of weird things in my head. i don't want to discuss them. i want to be able to go inside my brain. wielding a broom. and sweep all the crazy out. but i don't think i can do that. unless i shrink dennis quaid and send him in to do the job. but then martin short would screw it up somehow.
maybe it's just a weird case of homesickness. sick for so many homes. california. massachusetts. even here. sometimes i just wish i could figure it all out. go back in time. fix it somehow. perhaps i should just let it go. don't dwell. wait for everything to work itself out or not.
i don't know.
i wish i did.