the exact moment she fell in love is difficult to pinpoint. it could have been the second she noticed that the way he walked was full of an understated confidence which, she had always felt, was impossible to achieve except perhaps in movies. or the multitude of times she had lost herself in the way he spoke that she feared he would think her slow and dimwitted. or it could have been the hours she felt it took to describe the color of his hair to ever more bored acquaintances and strangers she passed on the street.
more likely however, it was the instant his eyes showered her in sincere interest. as though the deep blue orbs were in fact spotlights which drew her from the hidden depths of the background players to star at the front of the stage. the heat of his gaze stripped her bare. burning away all the layers of self consciousness and self loathing. leaving her naked and clean for all world to see and judge.
it was in that one minuscule moment that her heart whimpered in surrender and, like a puppy with her tail between her legs, her whole inner self rolled to expose her tender side in complete submission.
for the rest of the week a smile took residence upon her face. it stayed like an unexpected but welcome guest who would never over stay their welcome.
she knew she shouldn't have fallen in love. the circumstances were stacked against her like so many dusty books in a library, heavy with words and knowledge, leaning precariously, ready to tumble. she found herself clothed in the familiar layers of doubt and cynicism. she knew he would leave just as everything else that was good in her life eventually did.
when the day came she was aloof. her visiting smile was packing up it's glow and readying for departure. she pretended she didn't care, not really, not this time.
she knew he could see the truth even before her tears betrayed her performance. she knew he could see past the thin curtain of confidence into the frailty of her heart. she knew as he played his part and, gently kissed her goodbye, that her heart would never be her own again.
she fell in love on a wednesday. she thought her heart would be broken on a monday.
she never knew that monday would never come.