Saturday, December 11, 2010

no happily ever afters...

there are no real cinderella stories. no real happily ever afters. no romantic gestures. no running to the airport to catch a fleeing heart. no rainy days spent under a doors lintel waiting for love to return.

i was a blind. a fool for the drama that hollywood has imagined. i was taken for a ride by the flowing words of story tellers. yarns spun to entrap young hearts and shackle hopeful minds.

i've been herded like so many. into the walls of marriage. into the lies of love.

love was supposed to be enough.

if you loved someone. somehow. it would all turn out right.

if you gave someone. all that you were. all that you are. all that you could ever be. if you gave willingly your heart. your trust. your secrets. that they would see past any flaws. they would know your true worth. they would fight for you. they would mean the words they said to you. they wouldn't run at the first bump in the road.

oh love. how you pain me. how you cut me. and so i will continue to be pained. to be cut. to be burned. because i am a fool. because though i want to fight. though i know in the shattered pieces of my heart. my love belongs to one who doesn't see clearly. my traitorous heart will always wait.

always long. for that moment. near the credits. when they reunite. and the music swells. and the hearts of two beat as one. and the happily ever after is promised.

i will cry. i will suffer. i will slowly die.

i will fight. i will yell. i will burn things and break things.

i will live.

i will wait.

i will be silent.

i will leave.

and i will stay.

and i will speak no more.

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