i've noticed moments of quiet in my soul. it happens in time of happiness. all the angst and anger has been tempered by contentment. i feel as though this joy somehow saps my creativity. i find that the words don't behave as they used to. i wrangle with the feel of them. where i used to pluck the rhymes from the air like little threads of spidersweb. i now sift through the cobweb filled recesses of my own mind.
it's as if being in a relationship. no. strike that. being in a happy relationship makes you sluggish. you wade through hugs and kisses. each sweet snuggle catching your ankles as you struggle through a bog made of comforters and cookies. where you used to make entertaining remarks now you talk of mortgages. all your witty quips are in regard to what piece of furniture you just bought. your nights are full of cuddling in front of the television watching crappy shows in your pajamas.
on the rare occasion when you do deign it necessary to leave your warm nest you find late nights to be a bother. you realize that your conversations are in the irritating sublanguage of "we". we this. we that. we feel. we. we. we.
slowly you slip into this.
but you know. after two years? there are always little discoveries. new stories. more conversations about things you never knew.
and the nights of canoodling on the couch? i wouldn't want to spend my evenings any other way.