the me on book of faces... trying to give a lighter look like on things...
and the then the me here. the true me.
the dark... the angry... the sorry... the useless... the unfulfilled.
everyone wants to talk. but how does it help?
when the one i want doesn't want me?
so i'm left. alone. with the thoughts of my dark mind.
i have family reaching out. which makes me more afraid than the nightmares reaching out.
and i have the comforting darkness...
oh the comfort in that darkness... that sleep. the gentle pain...
what do i do?
i'm only thirty for crying out loud... i should have all my life to look forward to...
and yet i don't.
i refuse to accept. i am... as the old cat song song goes... i am a hard headed women.
i am not letting you go. despite what i said last week..
i am. not. letting. you. go.
and not ever it seems.