Sunday, September 11, 2011

spider watch... 2007

the battle continues. reports are flowing in from all areas of the house...

last weekend in fact was a very dramatic case of spider infestation. upon opening the wardrobe i discovered a fat brown spider nestled amongst my hubby's shoes. thinking quick i sounded the alert. "spider!" once the alarm was raised my hubby jumped into action. with what can only be described as sheer bravery he began his patented kill-the-spider dance. now, to an uneducated observer this deadly dance would look similar to a eek-it's-a-spider dance. but, then, you would be sadly mistaken.

unfortunately this highly effective kill-the-spider dance contains so many rituals and routines that frankly, we did not have time for, so i leaped into action. grabbing one of my husbands shoes i began to pummel the fat brown spider until it stopped scuttling. half of the spider lay in ruins in the wardrobe, the other half was a schmear on the shoe i held in my right hand. i looked up to see my hunny finish the last steps of the kill-the-spider dance, which looks oddly similar to the oh-good-you-killed-the-spider dance. i stood and waited for the brave husband of mine to clear away the wreckage of what was once a giant fat brown spider.

spider watch. 2007. the count is 4.

the scene... a dark hallway. the hour is late. my feet are bare. i notice a darkened spot on the carpet. quickly i turn on the light. i recognize my oldest foe. my archnemisis. the spider. the ikcy long legged fat body spider. a good inch and a half or two in legspan. a good inch or two of squarshable surface if you ask me.

i calmly walk around the spider in the hallway. it watches me. my reflection moves silently in its many black eyes. i grab a pink converse sneaker from the doorway. i crept stealthily back towards the spider. i lifted the chuck. and WHAM. Wham. WHAM.

from the other room my hubby emerges. "that's a big one" he says. "yea." i respond. i walk past my hubby and go to sit on the couch. my weapon cradled in my arms.

the house is quiet. the house is safe.

spider watch 2007 continues.

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